When people find out that I live in China, there usually is a series of questions they ask me, but one of the first questions is often, "Is it safe there?"
This time last year, I would have said with full confidence that China is the safest place I've ever lived. Now I would still say the same, as the other places I've lived are Washington, DC (murder capital of the country) and Moscow (murder capital of the world), but without the confidence.
In the past year, I've been 1) robbed, 2) dragged out of my cab and almost down a set of stairs by a group of rabid drunk Chinese people and 3) got into a screaming showdown with the "leader of the taxi cab drivers of Dalian".
That being said, that isn't the norm for foreigners in China. I just happen to be exceptionally unlucky, to the point where I don't even think Switzerland would be safe for me. That being said, I wouldn't even put crime into my top 5 dangers in China because criminal activity is so scarce. What would I put in my top 5 list? 5 things that every person in China encounters on a normal day basis.
1) Death by Taxi cab drivers who live in a Grand Theft Auto World.
Every single driver in China seems to think that he is Mad Max, and drives as such.
However, even the Chinese people I met in Beijing noted how terrible the drivers are in Dalian, apparently Dalian is notorious for the death racers that are responsible for dozens of peoples' lives on a given day. Worst of all, taxi drivers take it as a personal insult if one wants to wear a seat belt, indignantly informing the passenger that they are a good driver, then unbuckling the offending seatbelt.
Just one example of a normal taxi drive.
While cheerfully asking if you like Chinese food and informing you that they like Obama/Kobe Bryant/some other American sports star I don't know, they are playing a chicken/bumper car hybrid game with their car: going into the wrong lane, driving full speed in reverse for over a mile (it was maybe the most impressive thing I've ever seen) and driving through active construction sites, just of the top of my head.
2) Death by Mystery Meat Street Food
"Fried tofu! How delicious!" It's not even meat, so it has to be okay right?
Wrong. In street food, people often mix tofu with cardboard. Can you imagine what they mix their meat with? As one might have heard, the Chinese culinary scope and width far exceeds ours in terms of what they will eat. Which means that they will pretty much eat anything and everything, except for ice water. That means that a stick of chuar (a kabob) could be mutton, or it be the intestines of a rat. There is a reason why Hepatitis B. is a huge problem here, and it pretty much starts and ends at mystery street food.
The worst part is that street food is curiously delicious, and most of the time, the street food is safe to eat, which lures people into a false sense of security about the food. I've gotten around this problem by eating only seafood and vegetable chuar, which is delicious and easily recognizable.
3) Death by being a Pedestrian
Being a pedestrian in China is a little like being in world where you are a bowling pin, and every car is a bowling ball that wants you dead. If you are lucky enough to make it to the safety of a sidewalk, one still must contend with the rickshaws. As they are neither a car nor a pedestrian, they abide the laws of no man, and as such, are the lone source of anarchy in a country where everything is controlled by the government.
4) Death by Construction sites/random manholes
When people say that China is a developing country, it isn't just economically. It is literally developing, everywhere, in every city. What happens when lots of buildings need to be torn down/built up in a short amount of time and there are no safety regulations?
The question is, what doesn't happen. Steel beams hanging above a sidewalk like an blade of destruction, sudden drops into the dark netherworld of Chinese sewage, skeletal buildings with frames held together by twine, and burning infernos of melded iron steps away from the sidewalk, these are not occasional occurrences. It's just a walk to the grocery store.
5) Death by Fireworks
The Chinese people are a moderate people, but when they celebrate, do they ever. Going out for a few beers? Only if by a few, you mean "their body weight," and by beer you mean baijiu. This is the country that only told their employees not to drink at lunchtime after heavy drinking competitions put one man in a coma and the other in a coffin in one week. So throwing confetti? Eh, only if it is confetti of FIRE.
As I've mentioned before, Spring Festival is the time of year when Chinese citizens throw fireworks (and caution) into the wind, with a reckless devil-may-care attitude of where the fire might land. After all, what is the worst that can happen with millions of unmonitored pyromaniacs setting off fireworks in heavily populated cities?
Just to get an idea, this building is in the center of Beijing, and took up an entire block of downtown real estate. It is now unusable, as no one can figure out what to do with the charred remains of the brand-new hotel that was build for the 2008 Olympics.
For two weeks, China is under siege by people armed with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of fireworks. And not just sparklers, but 4th of July-style fireworks as well. They also have a cutesy type of firework that shoots balls of fire out of a tube, I discovered as I walked behind a group of little boys, all busy shooting the fireballs at the windows of the apartment buildings they saw.
Every year, dozens of people die, hundreds are hurt and several buildings burn to the ground, as tends to happen when dealing with combustible fire.
This time last year, I would have said with full confidence that China is the safest place I've ever lived. Now I would still say the same, as the other places I've lived are Washington, DC (murder capital of the country) and Moscow (murder capital of the world), but without the confidence.
In the past year, I've been 1) robbed, 2) dragged out of my cab and almost down a set of stairs by a group of rabid drunk Chinese people and 3) got into a screaming showdown with the "leader of the taxi cab drivers of Dalian".
That being said, that isn't the norm for foreigners in China. I just happen to be exceptionally unlucky, to the point where I don't even think Switzerland would be safe for me. That being said, I wouldn't even put crime into my top 5 dangers in China because criminal activity is so scarce. What would I put in my top 5 list? 5 things that every person in China encounters on a normal day basis.
1) Death by Taxi cab drivers who live in a Grand Theft Auto World.
Every single driver in China seems to think that he is Mad Max, and drives as such.
 |
| At heart, every Chinese taxi driver is this man. |
However, even the Chinese people I met in Beijing noted how terrible the drivers are in Dalian, apparently Dalian is notorious for the death racers that are responsible for dozens of peoples' lives on a given day. Worst of all, taxi drivers take it as a personal insult if one wants to wear a seat belt, indignantly informing the passenger that they are a good driver, then unbuckling the offending seatbelt.
Just one example of a normal taxi drive.
While cheerfully asking if you like Chinese food and informing you that they like Obama/Kobe Bryant/some other American sports star I don't know, they are playing a chicken/bumper car hybrid game with their car: going into the wrong lane, driving full speed in reverse for over a mile (it was maybe the most impressive thing I've ever seen) and driving through active construction sites, just of the top of my head.
2) Death by Mystery Meat Street Food
"Fried tofu! How delicious!" It's not even meat, so it has to be okay right?
Wrong. In street food, people often mix tofu with cardboard. Can you imagine what they mix their meat with? As one might have heard, the Chinese culinary scope and width far exceeds ours in terms of what they will eat. Which means that they will pretty much eat anything and everything, except for ice water. That means that a stick of chuar (a kabob) could be mutton, or it be the intestines of a rat. There is a reason why Hepatitis B. is a huge problem here, and it pretty much starts and ends at mystery street food.
 |
| Grasshoppers. |
The worst part is that street food is curiously delicious, and most of the time, the street food is safe to eat, which lures people into a false sense of security about the food. I've gotten around this problem by eating only seafood and vegetable chuar, which is delicious and easily recognizable.
3) Death by being a Pedestrian
Being a pedestrian in China is a little like being in world where you are a bowling pin, and every car is a bowling ball that wants you dead. If you are lucky enough to make it to the safety of a sidewalk, one still must contend with the rickshaws. As they are neither a car nor a pedestrian, they abide the laws of no man, and as such, are the lone source of anarchy in a country where everything is controlled by the government.
4) Death by Construction sites/random manholes
When people say that China is a developing country, it isn't just economically. It is literally developing, everywhere, in every city. What happens when lots of buildings need to be torn down/built up in a short amount of time and there are no safety regulations?
The question is, what doesn't happen. Steel beams hanging above a sidewalk like an blade of destruction, sudden drops into the dark netherworld of Chinese sewage, skeletal buildings with frames held together by twine, and burning infernos of melded iron steps away from the sidewalk, these are not occasional occurrences. It's just a walk to the grocery store.
 |
| They'll get around to building the rest of this sometime |
5) Death by Fireworks
The Chinese people are a moderate people, but when they celebrate, do they ever. Going out for a few beers? Only if by a few, you mean "their body weight," and by beer you mean baijiu. This is the country that only told their employees not to drink at lunchtime after heavy drinking competitions put one man in a coma and the other in a coffin in one week. So throwing confetti? Eh, only if it is confetti of FIRE.
As I've mentioned before, Spring Festival is the time of year when Chinese citizens throw fireworks (and caution) into the wind, with a reckless devil-may-care attitude of where the fire might land. After all, what is the worst that can happen with millions of unmonitored pyromaniacs setting off fireworks in heavily populated cities?
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| Oops! |
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| my street, full of fun and confetti |
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| my street, under attack/"celebrating spring festival" |
Every year, dozens of people die, hundreds are hurt and several buildings burn to the ground, as tends to happen when dealing with combustible fire.
If it makes you feel better, we might die by mystery meat food here in the States. Taco Bell is in a huge lawsuit because supposedly their meat is not really "meat." I refuse to believe it.
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