Don't underestimate little old ladies.

My first night out in Dalian, I wasn't sure what to expect, but since in Jinan the main attraction on a night off was to go to Wei Weis, to watch a crazed, old alcoholic do and say ridiculous things while his despairing family looked on, the bar had been set pretty low. I figured that it could only get better.

I was right and wrong. My first night out in Dalian started with me watching two grandparents drink my friend under the table, and ended with my cab driver recreating a scene from a horror movie.

The night began with the Dalian Aston dinner, where I sat at a table with an old british grandma and grandpa. Outspoken and prickly, but nice, I enjoyed just watching them bicker as they had bickered for at least the past 4o years. As I was in a reverie, people-watching the couple, and imagining their lives as a happily-married, adventurous British couple through the 20th century, I was not taking note of how quickly they were consuming beer.

Thus, I was shocked when the grandma uttered words I never expected, " Let's bring out the baijo!" - for those of you not in the know- baijo? is a strong, Chinese hard liquor. In terms of liquids, it resembles and tastes nothing as much as battery acid. In other words, baijo is not a drink you would ever choose to drink, and most people, myself included, try to avoid it. So there was that, and then there was the fact that this woman had to be at least 65: she had eight grandchildren and had referenced an event in the early 1960s.

Elderly people, in my experience, don't drink, except for my great-aunts, but they are Italian alcoholics. It is especially unhealthy for them! However, referencing my great-aunts again, if elderly people do drink, one should NEVER, EVER drink with them, because chances are, they will be much better than you at it. You've had 2 years of drinking experience, they've have 60: who do you think is going to walk away unscathed?

The elderly couple started peer pressuring of the other people at the table to take shots of baijo, I begged off, explaining my repulsion of baijo, but my friend was roped in, as he was still new to china and thus did not understand the horrible nature of baijo.

"Let's do a drinking contest- whenever I have a bit of baijo, you have some too!" the elderly lady suggested to my friend, I desperately tried to warn him, but his reasoning was the hopeless naivete of a person whose family background is not Italian/Irish Catholic, "She's a little old lady, how bad can it be?"

Very bad, as it turned out. My friend was supposed to join my other friend and I to go out for drinks after the dinner- but by 7pm, he could barely sit at the table and was slurring his words. Meanwhile, the little old lady was still unaffected by their baijo drinking game.