The subversion of Chinese adolescents by Twilight/Harry Potter

"Cain? Your english name is Cain?" I asked.  "Yes."
"Have you ever read the bible? That name has a negative connotation- I'm not sure that you really want that name."
"No, I read bible.  I like story. Cain is a cool name."
"....?!?!?!"

 I stared blankly at the 21 year told boy, who appeared normal but clearly was not. I spent the next 10 minutes explaining to him that if he planned on going an english-speaking country, there might be quite a number of people who would find that name offensive and either think that 1) he was ignorant of its meaning or 2) that he was insensitive to the culture.  Still, he stayed true to the name Cain until he finally realized I was not going to give up on it.  I wrote 16 names on the board- and he rejected them all, in favor of "Miller" - the hero of "Call of Duty," his WWII videogame. 

Still unhappy with that name, I talked him into being named Don Draper, which he agreed on with the stipulation that we refer to him in class as Draper.  I then taught him to say "Draper.  Don Draper." as one would say "Bond. James Bond."

Thus began my 3 hour intensive IELTs prep course.  What is IELTs? It is the english language test all foreign students must take to be considered for studying abroad.   I teach IELTS for eight hours over a two day period every week to the same students, so as I was going into this class, I was praying that at least one student has a personality, otherwise it was going to be a very tedious semester

By the end of the first class, I found that one has to be careful what one wishes for.  They had personalities all right, all bizarre in their own way, but with one common factor: they are all needlessly arbitrary and all of them watch way too much American TV for their own good.  By the end of the class, they had:

-berated me for the purchase of red throw pillows, which they said 1) not necessary and 2) one should only buy red pillows for weddings

-peer pressured me into eating an ice cream dumpling- which is actually better than it sounds

- had an in depth conversation of whether zombies are vampires or if vampires create zombies, which, as the foreign expert from the country of Twilight, they expected me to know
 

Most impressively, they managed this feat while in the confines of my lesson plan.  When I gave them assignment of presenting a one minute speech on something that was really important and meaningful to them, they took it as an opportunity to discuss their favorite magical creatures: Harry Potter, Michael Jackson, that vampire from Twilight and the plotlines from Supernatural and Heroes.